It your choice, Mom. What you choose?

Jack was thrilled he could ride with Dad this afternoon, ultimatum dismissed.

Beware! Kids follow our example in everything! Jack used my own parenting strategies against me today!

Today at Gateway Discovery Museum, I was hungry, tired and ready to leave. I told Jack I was ready to go. He wanted to play longer and kept running off to do more activities. I told him, "If we leave right now, I will have energy to walk over for a gumball. If you play on the helicopter now, we will not get a gumball today." He played on the helicopter. Then he said, "Ok, let's go get a gumball."

Mom: I am sorry, Honey, do you remember what I said? Either a gumball or the helicopter, you chose the helicopter. We won't be getting a gumball today.

Jack stopped me so I would look at him: Mom, I have to tell you something. If we get a gumball now, Dad come with us later. If we not get a gumball now, Dad not come with us, ever. It your choice, Mom. What you choose? Mom paused, stunned and amused, and repeated his ultimatum. Well then I have to say 'no gumball.'

Jack looked at me with the same big-eyed, serious, determined look I give him when I have to follow through with the consequences of his choices even though it will be difficult.

I was really impressed with his negotiating skills. He picked the priviledge and consequence he knew meant a lot to me, spending time with Dad. Jack's delivery was methodical, very clear and unemotional, even when he was very disappointed with my choice. I told him I like the way he thinks; but I am the mom and moms make the choices; when he is a dad he can make the choices. After thinking about it later, I figured I can respond next time that when he has the money and the car and the house and the food he can make the choices. As long as we have the money, food, home and car, we, the parents, will steer this cruise ship. On the horizon, we watch for storms and head for smoother sailing. With our new parenting strategies, the ride has been more fun lately!

I am so grateful that I am not overly strung out with outside responsibilities. I can take the time and effort needed to treat Jack with kindness most of the time. Believe me, it seems like it would be easier to grab him by the arm, swat his bum and drag him to the car! But Jack used my own parenting strategies against me today and luckily our parenting techniques do not involve physical violence or intimidation! I am so glad that today is an example of how we parent most of the time. My husband allows me to spend most of my attention figuring out how to perserve Jack's dignity and my sanity at the same time. I feel so lucky to be a mom!!! I love my family!