Mom and Jack are at Classic Fun Skating with an arcade and bouncy houses. After a couple hours, Jack is wearing down quickly and nearly having a complete melt down.
Jack: I hate you.
Mom: That is too bad. I guess it is time to go now.
Jack: I dutoe (super) hate you.
Mom: Ok, let's go.
Jack: I yeady dutoe (really super) hate you.
Mom: That hurts my feelings.
Mom wants to allow Jack to recognize and own his feelings and not punish him for them no matter what they are. Mom wants to avoid retaliating and discuss feelings and work through them calmly to get back to the love and cooperation we normally have. Mom is silent on the way to the car, getting in the car and driving home. Every few minutes Jack reminds Mom that he really super hates her. Mom is quietly and unemotionally trying to think of how to respond and teach and to take his little feelings seriously and not laugh either. They drive past another fun arcade and mini-golf place. (p.s. no, we didn't go in, it was too late.)
Jack: I wish I could go to Boondocks right now.
Mom: It's too bad you hate me.
Jack: I not hate you anymore, Mom.
Mom: I am glad because that hurt my feelings.
Jack: Doddy (Sorry), Mom
2 comments:
I commend you on the calm unemotional response. It is hard to do! I am glad to hear you are no longer hated.
You are such a great teacher, Alison. I needed to read this post. Riley is testing every ounce of patience I possess.
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